When Wizards Meet
by Shadow Crystal Mage
Summary: A series of shorts. Harry Dresden encounters a powerful young wizard. No, not THAT powerful young wizard, the other one! Crossover with Negima, bookverse, mangaverse. Crack!
1. In Which There Is No Explanation…

A/N: Usually, I like some kind of unifiying cosmology in my crossover fics, a way to explain everything. Why Series A is in the same world as Series B.

But sometimes you just got to throw two series together and see what happens. Still, I despise not working without at least 1 definite timeline, so put this somewhere after Dresden Files book 10 but before 11. Negima-wise, it can be any old when.

This is higher on the crack-o-meter than Raikiri Triken. You have been warned.

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When Wizards Meet.

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 1: In Which There Is No Explanation How This Happened

Disclaimer: The Dresden Files belongs to Jim butcher. Sci Fi (now Scyfy) are geniuses to have managed to ruin it. Negima belongs to Ken Akamatsu. Everyone loves wizards!

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Harry Dresden, the group of Wardens with him, and the Senior council stared at the scene of devastation around them. They were all pretty familiar with scenes of devastation. The 'full-scale' part of the war against the Red Court wasn't that long ago, and Harry had the nasty ability to find himself in the middle of such scenes but even for him and the battle-hardened men and women around him, this was a new one. There were a lot of ghouls in this one. Not the superghouls that had been in the Raith Deeps, thank goodness, just the regular garden variety ghouls, but still nasty.

They'd all been slaughtered. And for once, Harry had nothing to do with it.

It had all been the figure in the tan, hooded robe with the tall staff. It had to be a midget. Harry hoped it was the midget. Because the alternative…

Then the figure turned, pulling back its hood as every member of the White Council, Harry included, trained various destructive foci at it, and Harry knew there was no such luck. It was a kid, looking about ten or eleven, with dark red hair. He blinked at them in surprise, as if he hadn't known they were there, then bowed deeply towards them, then looked chagrined as he straightened. "Sorry, force of habit. My name is Negi Springfield, and I seem to be a little lost. Are you mages?"

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**- To be continued...**

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A/N: Random drably crack concerning two of my four favorite wizards. The other two are Raistling Majere and the _other_ Harry, if you must know.

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


	2. The Other Wizard Named Harry Is Alluded…

A/N: What can I say? I feel like writing, yet don't feel like working on my other series.

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When Wizards Meet.

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 2: In Which The _Other_ Wizard Named Harry Is Alluded To.

Disclaimer: The Dresden Files belongs to Jim butcher. Sci Fi (now Scyfy) are geniuses to have managed to ruin it. Negima belongs to Ken Akamatsu. Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. Raistling Majere is the creation of Tracy Hickman and Margaret Weis. They're not in this story, but I felt like mentioning them. Everyone loves wizards!

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Harry, Negi and a small force of Wardens waited as the Senior Council… discussed. It wasn't everyday something like this happened, a ten– "Almost eleven," Negi corrected– year-old boy who claimed to be a mage– and could throw around a ton of destructive magic to prove it– coming out of the blue and destroying a pack of ghouls for you before you knew they were there to need to be destroyed. They weren't charging him with breaking the Laws, but there had been much lecturing and holier-than-thou-ness. It had been interesting, all seven council members, Morgan, Luccio, and a few of the older Wardens all taking turns trying to put the fear of… well, _them_, into the boy and him simply nodding and agreeing with every word they said. Crusty old Ancient Mai had soulgazed the boy and come out blinking in astonishment. The boy had started to tear up and tried to give her a hug, saying, "Everything's going to be all right." Everyone was treated to the astonishing sight of seeing the old wizardress blush for the first time in probably a hundred years. Two hundred!

The story he'd told was well on the far side of believability, even by wizard standards, but Ancient Mai had confirmed his truthfulness.

So now they were deliberating on what to do with him. He hadn't broken any laws after all, and he was technically a human wizard, and therefore technically under the White Council's jurisdiction…

"So, you're really te– uh, eleven?" Harry said, making conversation as the waited. "You don't just look young or something?"

Negi nodded. "I just graduated from school last year. Top of my class, even though there were only five of us."

Various eyebrows when up as the Wardens who were 'too professional' to talk to the 'prisoner' but were listening in on the conversation made their interest known.

"Let me guess," Harry said. "Hogwarts?"

Negi winced. "Please don't say that. I hear enough Quidditch jokes as it is. "

Harry raised an eyebrow again. "Quidditch jokes? Don't tell me you actually fly around on a broomstick."

"No, of course not!" Negi said indignantly.

"Sorry, I–"

"I fly around on my staff," Negi said. "More aerodynamic, plus I don't leave bristles lying everywhere."

Harry blinked, than looked at the plain wooden staff that stood next to Negi– it looked like ash wood– then at his own intricately carved oak staff. "You, uh, think you could teach me?"

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**- To be continued...**

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A/N: Harry has canonically tried to make a flying broom.

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


	3. In Which The Perverted Advisors Meet

A/N: What can I say? I feel like writing, yet don't feel like working on my other series.

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When Wizards Meet.

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 3: In Which The Perverted Advisors Meet

Disclaimer: The Dresden Files belongs to Jim Butcher. Sci Fi (now Scyfy) are geniuses to have managed to ruin it. Negima belongs to Ken Akamatsu. Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. Raistling Majere is the creation of Tracy Hickman and Margaret Weis. They're not in this story, but I felt like mentioning them. Everyone loves wizards!

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It was quickly decided, over his strident but not _too_ vehement protests that Harry was to take care of Negi, since they seemed to get along so well.

It was as quickly decided, this time to Harry's approval that Negi not actually _live_ with him. A cold, dark, unhealthy basement apartment, Ancient Mai had said, was no place for a young boy.

Harry hadn't know whether to be insulted or not.

There had been a limited list of people Harry could ask to take the kid in for him. Thomas was out, since it would seem highly suspicious, passing a kid like Negi off to a member of the White Court. Murphy might be able to take him, but she'd be too busy. The Alphas had no room. And while Michael's family might be willing and able to house him, asking them to given what happened the last time their dad had done him a favor seemed wrong.

So it was to Harry's cold, dark, unhealthy basement apartment, despite everyone's better judgment.

Fortunately, Negi wasn't alone. He'd found a friend on the Ways as they headed towards Chicago.

Harry listened briefly, seriously disturbed, as the ermine and Bob talked. "Is Chamo always like that?"

Negi blushed as he stopped bouncing on the couch, ostensibly testing the cushions. "Uh, yeah. But he's a good person at heart. He's very knowledgeable!"

"Aren't they all…" Harry muttered as he took one last look at the two chatting in the basement. The ermine was making circular motions at chest height. The look on Bob's face must certainly have been Harry's imagination. There was no way a skull could have a _lecherous_ grin.

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**- To be continued...**

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A/N: Bob meets Chamo. I shudder to think what would happen if Jack Rakkan showed up…

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


	4. In Which There Is Talk of Career Paths

A/N: It's always intrigued me how these to have actual paying day jobs, although in Harry's case, not by much…

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When Wizards Meet

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 4: In Which There Is Talk Of Career Paths

Disclaimer: The Dresden Files belongs to Jim Butcher. Sci Fi (now Scyfy) are geniuses to have managed to ruin it. Negima belongs to Ken Akamatsu. Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. Raistling Majere is the creation of Tracy Hickman and Margaret Weis. They're not in this story, but I felt like mentioning them. Everyone loves wizards!

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Negi and Chamo had been spending their time at the library, searching for any news about their friends who might have ended up there with them. Harry was impressed at how Negi could spend hours poring over newspapers and internet articles, pouring over every detail.

"I couldn't do that," Harry said as he picked him. The day had thankfully consisted of talking to people on the phone and no attempts on his life. "Besides the fact that I'd probably blow out the computers, I can't sit still for it long enough."

"It's all a matter of persistence," Negi said. He'd almost found out the hard way how wizards affected technology when he'd nearly blown his cellphone trying to see if he had any reception. The phone was now safely off. "I keep telling my students that all they need to do is apply themselves and they accomplish anything."

Harry blinked at him as they drove. "You have students?"

"Oh yes. I'm an English Teacher in my day job," Negi explained.

"You're eleven."

"Yes…?"

"Aren't you a little young?"

"I suppose so. But that's where I was assigned to continue my training."

Harry paused as he processed this, while Negi looked out the window with interest. "You were assigned to become an English teacher to continue your training as a mage," Harry said slowly. "How does that work, exactly?"

"Um, life experience?" Negi hazarded, not having really though about it much. "In case we can't become Magister Magi, we at least pick up a useful trade we can live off. And I suppose it's meant to keep us in contact with normal people. Isn't that why you're a detective?"

"Private investigator," Harry corrected gently. "No, I actually chose to do this of my own free will, if you could believe that. I figured I could help people this way, find lost kids."

"Oh," Negi said. "Then can I hire you?"

"What?"

"Well, I _do_ basically need help to find some people, and you said that's what you do, so…"

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**- To be continued...**

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A/N: An interesting idea. I could just picture the scene: "Harry Copperfield Blackstone Dresden, you are assigned to be a Private Investigator in Chicago, Illinois!"

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


	5. Magical Stripping Sneeze Powers,ACTIVATE

When Wizards Meet

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 5: Magical Stripping Sneeze Powers, ACTIVATE!

Disclaimer: The Dresden Files belongs to Jim Butcher. Sci Fi (now Scyfy) are geniuses to have managed to ruin it. Negima belongs to Ken Akamatsu. Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. Raistling Majere is the creation of Tracy Hickman and Margaret Weis. They're not in this story, but I felt like mentioning them. Everyone loves wizards!

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"ACHOOO!!!"

Harry was suddenly very aware of a sudden draft where his clothes used to be. He glanced down, then quickly wrapped his duster around him to protect his modesty. All around them at Mcanally's, people sitting close to them were suddenly realizing that their clothes seemed to have spontaneously removed themselves from their owners. Outraged and embarrassed cries rose as people scrambled to cover themselves and/or get their clothes back.

Harry glared down at the smaller figure sitting next to him who was holding a tissue to his nose. "Something you'd like to tell me, hmm?"

"Um, sorry?" Negi hazarded. "That hasn't happened to me in a while. I thought I had that under control. I, uh, involuntarily cast a wind-based disarming spell when I sneeze."

Harry looked down at himself again, then looked at the people around them. His gun, he noticed, was under the table. "Define 'disarm'."

"It, uh, rips weapons out of people's hands and, uh, makes them more vulnerable by, uh, by… takingoftheirclothes," Negi finished in a rush.

"Ah," Harry said sagely in understanding.

The two sat in awkward silence as people around them tried to get dressed.

"I'll go look for your clothes," Negi said, getting up.

"You do that."

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**- To be continued...**

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A/N: Ah, the Stripper Sneeze, Negi's most dangerous ability…

Soulfire's got _nothing_ on it!

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


	6. Negi And His Power Over Women

When Wizards Meet

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 6: Negi And His Power Over Women

Disclaimer: The Dresden Files belongs to Jim Butcher. Sci Fi (now Scyfy) are geniuses to have managed to ruin it. Negima belongs to Ken Akamatsu. Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. Raistling Majere is the creation of Tracy Hickman and Margaret Weis. They're not in this story, but I felt like mentioning them. Everyone loves wizards!

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"What," Lara Raith hissed at Harry, "_have you done to my sisters, wizard!!!!!!_"

Harry managed to hold a bright white smile on his face and restrain the urge to step back from the pissed off succubus. Still, he made sure to hold the invisible shield between the two of them. "It's nothing I did Lara," he said with guileless innocence. "I'm just standing here. Besides, Negi's the one talking to them." He pointed.

Lara wasn't able to stop herself from looking behind her. A bunch of her sisters and cousins were gathered around a couch, cooing and aah-ing appreciatively at Negi, who was talking about English literature. Some of the White Court seductresses were actually managing to hold on to enough presence of mind to give constructive input. It might have been just her imagination, but some of them looked like they had hearts in their eyes.

She whirled back at Harry and bumped her nose against his invisible shield. "_Get him out of here, Dresden!_" she hissed, holding a hand to her nose. "_**He's ruining my sisters!**_"

"Tell me what I want to know and we're gone," Harry said, grinning. This was fun!

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"So long Negi!" Magdalena cried as she waved towards the wizard's retreating backs.

"Come back soon!" Alira said, waving a silk scarf.

Behind the crowd of hauntingly beautiful sex vampires, Lara rubbed her temples. She needed to Feed. Now!

The crowd of women sighed as the two moved out of sight, looking so forlorn Lara nearly threw up. "The boy was a virgin," she said, making some of the women jump in surprise. "_Please_ tell me one of you at _least_ tried to feed on him?"

They all stared at her in shock. "Feed on him?" Madeline said, sounding scandalized. "What are we, perverts?"

Lara gave her a long, blank look. Then she turned on her heel and headed for the wine cellar. Forget feeding, she needed to get drunk. Very, very drunk…

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**- To be continued...**

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A/N: Negi meets the women of the White Court. This is not so far-fetched. Good thing he didn't sneeze…

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


	7. When Eva Met Harry…

A/N: Harry, meet Evangeline. How's your luck with beautiful, dangerous women again?

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When Wizards Meet

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 7: When Eva Met Harry…

Disclaimer: The Dresden Files belongs to Jim Butcher. Sci Fi (now Scyfy) are geniuses to have managed to ruin it. Negima belongs to Ken Akamatsu. Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. Raistling Majere is the creation of Tracy Hickman and Margaret Weis. They're not in this story, but I felt like mentioning them. Everyone loves wizards!

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Harry Dresden tried not to freak out as he stood about a stone's throw away from the front door of Macanally's. Over the past few days, several minor talent practitioners had been attacked, found with fang marks on their necks. The Red Court had denied their involvement, and rather than press the issue, the White Council had decided, for now, to launch a capture operation. Harry, by dint of seniority, survival aptitude, and the fact the Merlin didn't like him, was playing bait.

Negi had volunteered to join the operation, expressing his concern for Harry's safety. Luccio had grudgingly allowed it, provided he stayed as far back as possible to provide covering fire. Harry wondered how she'd react if she knew Negi had a punch that could bury you in a brick wall. What exactly did wizards in Negi's world do to get that buff? Wrestle bears?

"Well, well," a honeyed voice said from the mouth of the alley. "What's such a tall fellow like you doing in a place like this?"

Harry turned and for a brief moment, he was reminded of Mab. The woman before him looked nothing like the Queen of Winter. She was tall, blonde, curvaceous and very busty. The dress– if it could be called that– left no doubt to that fact. It was black leather, with a few sections of transparent gauzy fabric and lace ruffles, the hem so high Dresden saw the leather thong she was wearing and then some. Mab certainly didn't have a rack that big. It was the look in her eyes, he supposed. He'd seen that look in Mab. She gave him a clean, white smile.

With fangs.

Harry whipped out his blasting rod, crying "Fuego!", but before he could completely unleash the spell, someone knocked the wooden rod out of his hands. There was a backlash as the spell was interrupted, and suddenly he found himself slammed against one of the walls of the alley by hands that gripped like steel. Those same hands were systematically pulling off his rings and dropping them onto the ground and removing his shield bracelet. By the time he thought to fight back, he'd been completely disarmed.

"Target subdued, Master," the person holding him said in a soft, feminine voice that managed to be so bland as to be boring.

A red-lacquered hand gripped his hair painfully, and his head was turned to face the blonde. She looked at him with a predator's eyes, licking her lips. "You look strong," she muttered, head moving closer to his, as she parted her mouth, revealing her fangs once more. "Maybe _you'll_ be worth feeding on…"

The Warden's struck. Harry saw Blondie's eyes flick to the side, and she quickly darted back from his, raising her hands and saying something in Latin, something about ice and reflecting. Not the Faux Latin he used, _real_ Latin. A bloom of cold and ice crystals caught Ramirez's disintegrating blast, while another caught Luccio's needle of fire coming from above. Other spells were so intercepted as well. Harry felt himself being dragged by the one carrying him, obviously as some kind of shield.

"Pitiful," Blondie was saying, an actual sneer on her face as she… well, danced, her hands constantly flicking to intercept all the magic being thrown at her by the other Wardens with other blooms of cold and ice crystals. "I thought there'd be actual challenges on this miserable little world. Bah! Looks like it's going to be a boring couple of centuries, Chachamaru,"

"As you say, Master," the one dragging Dresden along agreed blandly. Harry pegged her as 'Yes-Girl'.

"Well, best to end this," Blondie said casually. "Disrupt them while I prepare."

One hand released Harry, though struggle as he might he still couldn't break her grip. The other hand moved into his line of sight, carrying what appeared to be some kind of gun stolen from the set of Star Wars. The blasts of energy– _non-magical_ energy– were certainly from the right movie. It certainly surprised the other Wardens, who temporarily broke off their attacks as a chanting cadence rose from the direction of Blondie, the words vaguely Greek. The rhythm felt familiar, and Harry suddenly realized she was beginning something _big_, a feeling aggravated by the fact the temperature began to drop like a stone.

Yes-Girl had very good eyes, managing to shoot directly towards where everyone was hiding. Harry tried to stomp on her feet, elbow her stomach, but he might as well not have done anything. Yes-Girl seemed completely unaffected by anything he did.

"Please do not attempt to use magic," Yes-Girl said blandly into his ear as she missed Ramirez by a hair and set the tail of his cloak on fire. Her steely grip on him tightened. "It would be inconvenient to have to hunt for another capable of feeding the mistress, especially after this altercation."

The cavalry arrived just as Harry was beginning to gather his will again to do just that. Negi flew in on that staff of his, sending those magic arrows at those attacking the Wardens and narrowly missing hitting Harry. Yes-Girl raised her weapon to track and fire– ad froze, just staring.

"Release Mr. Dresden right now or el– Master?" Negi suddenly broke off, also suddenly stopping in mid-air. Behind Harry, the chanting, which had begun to crescendo into something that sounded quite final, suddenly broke off.

"MASTER!!!" Negi cried, and Harry _felt_ the world warp as Negi suddenly disappeared, his now un-manned staff falling to he ground with a clatter. Behind him, he heard someone being tackled.

"Boya?" he heard Blondie's surprised voice say.

"Master!!!" He heard Negi's voice cry. "It _is _you! I was so worried!"

"Look, I'm f- Get OFF, boy! You're making a scene!!!"

"I believe that time for that has passed, Mistress," Yes-Girl said close to Harry's ear. A change had entered her voice. Was she sounding choked up? "Hello Negi-sensei. It is gratifying to see you in good health. The Mistress has been extremely worried about you."

"I was not!"

"Chachamaru-san!" Harry heard Negi yell, and suddenly he felt his captor being tackled from behind. He could feel Negi's little hands touching his sides as he hugged Yes-Girl. "You're all right too!"

"Would someone please explain what the hell is going on here?!?!?!?!" Harry cried.

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It was a few minutes later, and things had changed, though whether they had improved was doubtful. Yes-Girl– Chachamaru– had been very polite was she was no longer holding Harry hostage for her mistress to feed on, apologetically returning Harry's magical foci and staff to him. She had bright-green hair, and Harry wondered whether she had any Faerie blood, or was something else entirely. There was no sign of the weapon she'd used on the Wardens, and Harry had no idea where she'd put it.

Luccio and Ramirez had stepped out of cover warily, spells ready, approaching Harry now that violence seemed to be giving way to talking. Chachamaru had bowed to them in what seemed to Harry to be polite greeting, but neither had responded, both two busy keeping their eyes on her and the woman Negi was fussing over and who was becoming increasingly irritated.

"It's all right!" Negi said, dragging the reluctant woman over, who was now alternately scowling at Negi and the three visible Wardens. "It's all been a misunderstanding. Harry, Captain Luccio, Warden Ramirez, I would like you all to meet my Master, Evangeline."

Blondie rolled her eyes in exasperation and rapped him solidly on the head with her knuckles. "What do you think you're doing, Boya? If you couldn't see, these people and I were in the middle of something!"

Negi rubbed the top of his head, looking up at Blondie with a hurt-puppy look. "But Master, everything's all right now! You don't have to fight with them!"

"Of _course_ I have to!" Blondie snapped. "Maybe you've forgotten, what with all the knocks to the head you've taken, not to mention hanging around that loony bin you call your homeroom class, but I AM A VILLAIN! A MONSTER! A fucking _VAMPIRE!_"

"But, you don't have to do that stuff any more, Master," Negi said, painfully earnest. "You're a good person now!"

"BEING CURSED TO GO TO MIDDLE SCHOOL FOR THE PAST FIFTEEN YEARS DOESN'T TURN YOU INTO A GOOD PERSON!!" Blondie shot vehemently. "QUITE THE OPPOSITE!"

"B-but, I don't understand…" Negi said.

"It's quite simple, Negi-sensei," Chachamaru volunteered, causing everyone's attention to turn towards her, Negi hopefully, as if she could explain, Evangeline smugly. "The Mistress is simply going through a mid-life crisis bought about by the realization she seems to be enjoying the company of you and your students and friends, and is therefore trying to recapture her memories of her 'glory days' as a wanted fugitive against the whole world by being as difficult as possible in the hopes of setting off an altercation wherein she may employ her more powerful lethal magics, as a means of reliving her youth, instead of just buying a red convertible."

Evangeline's jaw dropped as the light of understanding appeared in Negi's eyes. "Oh, is that what's bothering you, Master?"

Evangeline ignored him, turning to the trio of visible Wardens, who had been listening in eyebrow-raised interest. "If I said I was going to kill you, will you attack me?"

"We almost don't want to…" Luccio said, a shade sympathetically. She likely knew how that felt.

Harry coughed. "Now, about attacking those people and trying to pick me up to suck my blood…"

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**- To be continued...**

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A/N: Eva and more vampire-y fun in the next installment!

It's always seemed to me that Negi isn't mentally sophisticated enough yet to fully grasp Evangeline's self-image of herself. Hence his naiveté in this chap.

Chachamaru, on the other hand, seems very good at piercing through the bullshit Eva feeds everyone, including herself…

Eva might well be able to afford a red convertible, but she doesn't seem the type.

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


	8. Some Wizards, A Vampire And A Robot…

When Wizards Meet

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 8: Some Wizards, A Vampire And A Robot Walk Into A Bar…

Disclaimer: The Dresden Files belongs to Jim Butcher. Sci Fi (now Scyfy) are geniuses to have managed to ruin it. Negima belongs to Ken Akamatsu. Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. Raistling Majere is the creation of Tracy Hickman and Margaret Weis. They're not in this story, but I felt like mentioning them. Everyone loves wizards!

* * *

Once more, the White Council was 'deliberating'. Eva's attacks on people had been, for most part, non-lethal compared with the attacks of the local vampire courts and unlike the Red Court, there were no addictive properties to combat. Captain Luccio had called in the results of the operation on the phone at Mac's while the other's sat and wait. Not many people were in, so they had enough tables to go around. Harry, Negi, Chachamaru and Evangeline all had a table to themselves, since no one wanted to be right beside a vampire, even though she looked nothing like the Red, Black and White Courts. Or, to put it another way, no one wanted to be next to a vampire that seemed all three.

There was a call for beers as everyone waited. Harry had a dark. Chachamaru declined. Negi asked for some milk. Eva had Negi roll up his sleeve and was delicately sucking blood from his wrist.

Harry did a spit take. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!?!" he said, fumbling for his blasting rod.

"No, it's all right Harry," Negi said, waving his free hand placatingly as the level of tension rose again, Warden's reaching for foci once more. "I'm used to it! It's part of the deal I have with Master."

"That's sick!"

"A girl's got to eat, mortal," Evangeline said languidly, but with a hint of menace, "And since you wouldn't be feeding me tonight, my little disciple will have to do. He has to pay his tuition fee, after all. I don't do charity work."

Harry might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but he _was_ a detective. Give him enough clues and he'll eventually get it. "You're his _teacher_?" he said, sounding aghast.

"_Master_," Evangeline pointedly corrected. "Don't look at me like that, It wasn't my idea. The kid practically begged me to teach him. In fact, he did!"

Harry watched as Evangeline sensually licked some blood of Negi's wrist, using her tongue in… _quite_ interesting ways and doing all sorts of things to _his_ blood. Negi seemed ignorant of this, trying to drink his milk one-handed, until Chachamaru offered to hold it for him. "Why…" Harry asked warily, "would he do that?"

Negi opened his mouth to respond, but Evangeline made a gesture, and Chachamaru placed a hand over the boy's mouth. "He wanted power," Evangeline said easily. "Why else would he commune with and make a pact with the forces of darkness?" Evangeline gave his wrist one final, sensuous lick that had some of the Wardens reaching for their cold beers. The two punctures on his wrist stopped bleeding. "I don't feel like eating any more. Later, maybe.

Negi nonchalantly wrapped a bandage around the wound as Harry kept on staring. "Am I the only one who thinks this is wrong?" he said.

"No," some of the other Wardens said.

"Oh, good," Harry said, though the fact Warden's supported his opinion on this didn't really make him feel better.

"Look, brat, it's no one's business but ours," Evangeline snapped at Harry, licking a drop of blood from the corner of her mouth. "If he's stupid enough to associate with dark powers because of his desire to get stronger, that's his damage."

Harry opened his mouth to say something… well, _Harry-esque_, when he paused and instead turned to Chachamaru. "That's the mid-life crisis talking, right?"

"Yes," Chachamaru confirmed.

"Be quiet, you stupid robot!"

Harry paused, blinking. "Robot?" he ventured.

Evangeline rolled her eyes. "Tch, I'm glad I'm no longer human. Didn't you notice the antenna sticking out of her hair, Dresden? Kind of an obvious hint, don't you think?"

Chachamaru raised her hand. Her forearm changed into a gun, then back again.

"Oh," Harry said. "A robot. Well, that explains it." He stared at his beer and wished he was in any place to get drunk. This was just getting too _weird_.

* * *

Eventually, a hearing was arranged for the following day. By the time the call came through, Negi had fallen asleep on the table, covered by Harry's Warden cloak. Chachamaru picked him up gently, cloak and all, as they left the pub. Evangeline had tried one of the beers and pronounced it suitable, and was now on her fifth one. The wonders of a vampire metabolism.

The vampire ignored the Wardens ringing them as they stepped out into the night and onto the truck that the Wardens had hired to get them around. Instead, she was glaring at Chachamaru, as if Dresden wasn't standing right behind her with his staff leveled. "He's never going to love you back, you know," she said abruptly, words only slightly slurred. She was a mean drunk, it seemed. "At best, you might become his maid and his mistress, someone he fucks at night and gets him off. You'll never be the mother of his kids."

There was a general all around twitch among the Wardens, as well as a desire not to be around to hear this conversation. Ramirez looked a bit faint, while Luccio's face was a bit too smooth to be purely professional.

Chachamaru's face seemed to collapse in despair. She seemed to hold Negi tighter against herself, looking at his face wistfully, and Harry wondered how much of that was real. After all, she was a robot, wasn't she?

Then she seemed to relax, her face going as smooth and bland as it had before. "I suppose you are right, Mistress. Then I will have to be content taking care of the children you intend for Negi-sensei to sire upon you, won't I?"

Even in the dim light, Evangeline visibly flushed red as a tomato, sputtering. "S-stupid robot! Shut up!" She raised the bottle to her lips and took a swig, the neck of the bottle cracking in her hands as it swung back down, spreading glass shard on the ground.

In the dim light, the Wardens could vaguely make out a satisfied smile on Chachamaru's face…

* * *

**- To be continued...**

* * *

A/N: She's never shown as getting drunk in the manga (which is the only true canon for Negima, as far as I'm concerned. The first Anime series sucked after the Kyoto arc, and the animation style was crap to begin with), but Eva seems the kind of person to be a nasty drunk. One can't imagine her any other way without lots of crack and serious brain damage to begin with.

I have every faith that Akamatsu-sama will find some way for Chachamaru to have hope of such a happy ending with Negi. Long live sex with robot girls!

For more crazy crossover fun with Dresden, see _**The 31**__**st**__** Denarian: Beware The Love Freak!**_

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


	9. Judgment and Faith

A/N: Chachamaru bullshit-piercing powers, activate!

* * *

When Wizards Meet

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 9: Judgment and Faith

Disclaimer: The Dresden Files belongs to Jim Butcher. Sci Fi (now Scyfy) are geniuses to have managed to ruin it. Negima belongs to Ken Akamatsu. Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. Raistling Majere is the creation of Tracy Hickman and Margaret Weis. They're not in this story, but I felt like mentioning them. Everyone loves wizards!

* * *

After a long and lengthy (yes, I know that means the same thing!) proceeding where Harry becomes profoundly jealous of a Negi's grasp of Latin– seriously, even the kid was better than him at it!– they agreed not to kill Evangeline provided they give her no reason to. _She _said they were welcome to try if they were tired of living, since there was no way a bunch of puny mortals at least two hundred years her juniors could have a prayer of so much as scratching her cheek, let alone actually harming her. Harry would have admired her bravado if he wasn't so terrified she might be telling the truth.

Negi had volunteered to vouch for her despite his lack of standing in the Council. Not even Morgan was hardened enough not to be horrified of the idea of such a young child practically volunteering to get himself killed. All it would take was one whim from Evangeline that the Council didn't like, and people would start dying, starting with a boy.

It would have been all so dramatic if Evangeline hadn't rapped her knuckles on Negi's head again and told him to butt out of her business. His rather emotional response– "Master's welfare is my business!"– was almost embarrassing to listen to. Even Evangeline seemed to think so, blushing. And Harry remembered the things she and Chachamaru had snapped at each other the night before.

He'd exchanged a look with Luccio, and there'd been a moment of understanding.

The vampire had sulkily accepted the 'deal', such as it was. The conditions were similar to the Doom of Damocles. Negi was responsible for her, if she screws up, it's his head too. The loud and thankful enthusiasm Negi expressed upon hearing the conditions were truly creepy. Evangeline had quickly left the warehouse they were using meet, Negi tagging behind. They could hear her haranguing him all the way out. The crossed the threshold, leaving the White Council alone. With Chachamaru.

"He cannot grasp the idea that she will do wrong," she said mildly, breaking the silence that had marked the duo's exit.

"Pardon, miss?" Wizard McCoy said,

"Negi cannot grasp the idea that the Master will active do wrong," Chachamaru repeated herself. "He was faith that she has essentially a kind nature, despite Master's many protestations to the contrary, and her repeated listings of all those she has killed. And despite her attempt on his life six months into his teaching career, he believes that the Master is at heart a good person."

"The poor deluded fool," the Merlin said.

"Fool? Possibly," Chachamaru said. "But hardly deluded. In our time in this world, the Mistress has only hunted to feed, and unlike the indigenous vampire population, has neither killed nor sired others of her kind. Though Master would react violently to the allegation, there is evidence to support Negi-sensei's beliefs. In a way, his belief molds her behavior. He believes in her so strongly and so blindly, she unconsciously does not want to disappoint him."

"She's a vampire!" La Fortier protested.

"True. But was does that have to do with anything?"

"You're her servant," Harry pointed out. "Why should we believe you?"

"You need not believe in me, only in Negi-sensei," Chachamaru said. "Does he strike you as the sort of person who can change a vampire's character and nature?"

Harry's eyes widened as he remembered the encounter with the succubi of the White Court. He started to snicker.

"Dresden?" Luccio said as he began to laugh louder.

"You know," he answered Chachamaru, "He just might be…"

* * *

**- To be continued...**

* * *

A/N: And so ends the Eva-arc. I'll try to go back to random crack after this. Away, makings of a plot!

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


	10. The Obligatory Fight Scene!

When Wizards Meet

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 10: "The Obligatory Fight Scene!" Or "Beer And Demons Might Mix"

Disclaimer: The Dresden Files belongs to Jim Butcher. Sci Fi (now Scyfy) are geniuses to have managed to ruin it. Negima belongs to Ken Akamatsu. Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. Raistling Majere is the creation of Tracy Hickman and Margaret Weis. They're not in this story, but I felt like mentioning them. Everyone loves wizards!

* * *

It was like déjà vu. Harry looked around as the members of SI, , Negi, Chachamaru, and a very bored looking Evangeline stood around the outside of a warehouse. Except for the latter, it was so much like that raid all those years ago before the Red Court war when they'd busted Kravos. It was practically the same exact situation: a sorcerer, his drugged-up cult of followers, and a demon on retainer. Or, in this case, demons. Five, to be exact.

The members of SI were a solid, experienced core now, with no stupid ladder-climbing rookies to get under everyone's feet and cause problems, but they still looked in askance at Negi and Evangeline. Harry knew how they must be feeling. It had been something of a surprise to wake up one morning to find, instead of a tall, busty, _adult_ blonde, a short, flat-chested, illegally young blonde. He still wasn't sure how he'd let Negi talk him into letting Evangeline sleep on his couch. He strongly suspected that Negi slept on the floor with Mouse and a blanket.

Harry briefly compared the comfort level of his bed against his living room floor, Mouse and a blanket. Negi might actually be on to a good thing…

Anyway, everyone of the SI people were giving the two suspicious looks. Harry couldn't blame them. Negi was dressed in his tan robe and carrying his staff, while Evangeline was wearing a short black thing of silk, satin and lace that would have been cause for indecent exposure on an adult, never mind an apparent child. They could _see_ her thong. What was it with her and that? The fact she was carrying a six-pack of Mac's dark beers wasn't helping.

"Right, let's go over the plan one last time," Murphy said. "Go in, subdue the McKullen's followers, Dresden shuts down McKullen, Dresden's… friends are here to take down the demons should they escape."

"And they will," Dresden said grimly. "Five demons is five too many."

Stallings grimaced, looking down at Negi. "I still think this is messed up, bringing a bunch of kids into this."

"I'll be all right, Mr. Stallings," Negi said. "As a Magister Magi in training, I'm used to dealing with this sort of thing."

"That's kinda part of the reason this is messed up."

"'Kind of,'" Negi corrected mildly. "If it's make you feel any better, I'm not a full time wizard. In my day job, I'm actually an English teacher."

Stallings paused to consider that. "No, that doesn't help at all."

"Can we get this over with?" Evangeline gripped. "My beer's getting warm. I was promised an opportunity to watch a decent fight."

"It's all right," Negi said, at the looks the police officers gave her. "She's perfectly legal, she's actually five hundred– OW!"

"Boya," Evangeline said, licking her nails where she'd scratched Negi on the back of the neck. "As a gentleman, you should know it is very rude to discuss a lady's age."

"Sorry, Master."

Evangeline nodded curtly. "Let's be clear here. I'm not helping you little mortals with this problem, I'm in it strictly for the lulz. So don't expect me to do anything to help."

"We won't master," Negi said, though he looked slightly disappointed.

Evangeline turned a glare at Chachamaru. "And yes, you can assist if you want."

"Master is very generous," Chachamaru said, her face completely smooth and not at all sarcastic.

* * *

The first part of course turned out well. Anyone who wasn't completely down because of drugs or booze was knocked out by Chachamaru, who apparently had taser-equipped flexible tentacle-like filaments on her back. The cops all stared at her when they first saw her do it. Murphy turned to Harry. "Harry…" she hissed.

"Oh, did I forget to mention she's supposed to be some kind of hi-tech magic-powered robot?" Harry said innocently.

"Yes."

"My bad."

In the next room was McKullen. Harry wondered why sorcerers, especially the cult-and-summoning variety, looked so much alike. Was there a pamphlet the White Council's secret and not-so-secret enemies were handing it out? Step one, form a cult of addicted and controllable followers; step two, buy feathers and a paintbrush for putting blood on yourself…

Harry could feel Negi and Evangeline looking over his shoulder as he prepared the spell that would Seal McKullen's power, the young boy obviously eager to learn this trick of Harry's, even though it might not be something he could do himself, the latter feigning boredom. Looking a the doll in Dresden's hands, Negi whispered, "Is that spell you're similar to the effect of a voodoo doll? Stick in a pin, he feels the pain."

"Kind of," Harry whispered. "But in theory only. Doing that kind of magic is dangerously close to breaking the Laws, especially if you screw up. This is just to keep him from doing any spells long enough for us to arrest him."

"But… can't he just use his magic tomorrow?" Negi said. "I think you told me magic sort of resets every sunrise, unless you make it so it doesn't…"

"Lame," Evangeline commented, though she was quiet about it.

"Not really," Harry said. "He's just a sorcerer. Most can't do magic without props, preparation, some sort of writing instrument, and occasionally a living sacrifice. We just make sure he doesn't get any chalk in jail. Now, please pipe down, I'm about to do this…"

* * *

They'd gotten lucky. McKullen was only able to release three of his five retainer demons (that is, demons on retainer) at them, with the other two still trapped and snarling in its circle. They all looked pretty much alike, lean, muscular things that looked like a cross between a small gorilla and some kind of big cat. Bony spikes grew all over their forelimbs and calves, doubling as both weapon and shield, and their tails were spiked balls of death. More spikes grew in uncomfortable places, meaning the things had a degree of very solid armor.

Most SI had left to evacuate their prisoners, but some of their better shooters had stayed behind, assisting as well as they could with potshots from their various preferred forms of weaponry. Evangeline sat on a tall pile of boxes by the door, drinking her beers indiscriminately cheering on the cat-rillas.

Chachamaru, both arms converted to blades, was holding her enemy back as well rather nicely, slowly wearing it down with a combination of precise stabs and powerful kicks that either broke bones or sent it fling back for several feet. Harry was keeping one back with combination of force-blasts and judicious use of his shield. He was being sparing with the fire magic, since he was in an old building with people still inside it. Besides, he'd just recently found out that the Sidhe, all three vampire Courts and the younger Wardens were all using his last name as a verb. Apparently, 'to Dresden' meant 'to burn down a building all by yourself without apparently meaning to'. There was also 'to Dresden up', meaning 'to burn down a building all by yourself with disastrous political results'. When four 'nations' and your own allies are making jokes about you, maybe it's time for a little change.

As for Negi…

"You're embarrassing me, Boya," Evangeline said as Negi bounced off the cement floor twice on his flight, leaving little craters and almost slamming through one of the walls after being clubbed by a cat-rilla wielding it's dismembered arm like a flail. "Pick it up! For crying out loud, the mortal is doing better than you! It's just some plain vanilla demon! Cripes, _Ku Fei_ is more of a challenge than that thing!"

Negi pushed his way out of the rubble, flexing his fingers as he readied more magic arrows as blood dripped down his face. "Sorry Master!" he said, before diving back in.

Over her shoulder, Murphy glared at the diminutive vampire. Said vampire leisurely took a drink of beer. "I don't think you're allowed to drink while on duty," Evangeline drawled.

"What you do to that boy is sick," Murphy said.

"I know," Evangeline said. "It's getting harder to think of ways to make him give up and quit being my student. I'm finding I actually seem to be _teaching_ him things. It's all very annoying."

Murphy glared at her some more than turned and unloaded a clip into the back of the cat-rilla Negi was fighting. Thank goodness for guns and misplaced aggression.

* * *

Though he knew it probably wasn't a nice thing to think, Harry Dresden had seen a lot of cool ways for something to get killed. He had a lot of pleasant memories of them, actually, since it was they only thing he really liked to remember about a fight. The other wardens still couldn't believe Murphy had actually killed a plant monster and nearly killed a Sidhe lord with a chainsaw. They did like reminiscing about that time he'd killed a ghoul by having his reanimated zombie T-rex swallow it. The story of a Black Court Vampire being killed by a falling frozen turkey was a favorite of some of the regulars at Mac's, and for some reason he'd once told– while drunk– the story on how he'd zapped a demon in the middle of a thunder storm while in his birthday suit.

People might believe he once saw a robot girl shoot a demon in the brain pan with her arm cannon. He did not, however, think anyone was ever going to believe the time he saw a ten-almost-eleven year-old boy consecutively magic punching a weird cat/gorilla demon hybrid and broiling it to death with a bolt of lightning. Fortunately, the magic was controlled enough that Negi didn't Dresden the building…

Hells bells, now they had _him_ using it…

* * *

**- To be continued...**

* * *

A/N: I sincerely hope 'to Dresden' becomes an established part of the fandom's lexicon.

I always wanted to refer to something as a 'plain vanilla fill-in-the-blank'.

* * *

**Omake: Thou Shall Not Mess With The Beer…**

* * *

One of the cat-rillas flicked its tail at Negi, who dodged. The tail ended up slamming into a stray box, sending it flying.

There was the sound of glass breaking, followed by liquid splashing onto the ground. All fighting stopped.

Harry and Murphy turned to look towards Evangeline in horror. The vampire was holding the neck of what was left of a shattered bottle, while next to her the other bottles had been destroyed freak flying debris.

"My beer!" Evangeline exclaimed.

"Sacrilege!" Harry cried.

"Blasphemy!" Murhpy agreed.

Chachamaru looked at the demons, looked at Negi, and exchanged silent words with her teacher. The two of them then proceeded to get the rest of SI out of the room as Evangeline stood on her box, wind rising as suddenly golden eyes shone on black, her fangs elongating evilly as dark magic crackled in her hands. Murphy reloaded her gun. Harry hefted his staff and blasting rod, a 'lets get dangerous' light in his eyes as he turned towards the demons.

They never knew what hit them. As anyone who's ever tasted it can agree, **_NEVER MESS WITH MAC'S BEER!_**

* * *

**Omake: After The Beer…**

* * *

"25 clearly necromantic spells," Arthur Langtry, the Merlin, read off the charge sheet. "An uncountable number of other spells of a clearly destructive nature. And you all almost Dresdened up a building. Again." He looked up, face stern as he glared at Evangeline and Negi. "Do you have anything to say before the Senior Council convenes to decide your fate?"

"It made me spill a bottle of Mac's dark beer," Evangeline said.

There was silence.

"All charges are dropped. Clearly, this was a lawful case of a redressing of the wounded honor of an innocent…"

* * *

**End!**

* * *

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


	11. Magical Girl Avenging Angel Setsuna!

A/N: : It is my desire to write something so good I get put on the TvTropes Crowning Moment of Awesome for fanfics (tvtropes. org/ pmwiki/ / CrowningMoment/ FanFic) page. Just a hint, you know…

--------------

When Wizards Meet

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 11: Magical Girl Avenging Angel Setsuna!

Disclaimer: The Dresden Files belongs to Jim Butcher. Sci Fi (now Scyfy) are geniuses to have managed to ruin it. Negima belongs to Ken Akamatsu. Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. Raistling Majere is the creation of Tracy Hickman and Margaret Weis. I'll throw in Rand Al'Thor by James Oliver Rigney Jr. He counts, right. They're not in this story, but I felt like mentioning them. Everyone loves wizards!

--------------

"Mr. Dresden, is your sword supposed to be glowing like this?" Setsuna, Negi's newly-found student and Harry's latest roommate said, holding Fidelacchius, its blade shining like a lightsaber.

Harry stared. "Huh," he said. "You, uh, have any experience with a sword?"

Setsuna blinked, not sure what that had to do with anything. "Well, I'm a follower of the Kyoto Shinmeiryuu school of swordsmanship. Ours is an anti-demon style meant to be used in tandem with a magic user."

Harry's eyebrows rose. "You don't say…"

--

"Dresden," Sanya asked as they watched Setsuna dueling with Deirdre. The girl with the hair of doom, while vicious, was apparently not a patch on her parents when it came to planning, and had shown up the day before intent on killing Dresden, with the Russian on her heels. "What is it with you and small, fierce women?"

Harry shrugged. "Damned if I know. They just seem to come out of the woodwork."

They watched as Deirdre's hairs tore open the back of Setsuna's shirt. White wings exploded from Setsuna's back in reply, and she launched herself into the air. Fidelacchius' glow turned slightly pink as the girl cried out something in Japanese, descending towards the Denarian like… well, like an avenging angel.

Harry dearly wished he had a camera as Deirdre made her first 'oh shit, I'm screwed' face in was what possibly a very long time.

"Told you so," Evangeline said smugly.

--------------

**- To be continued...**

--------------

A/N: I'm running out of ideas. Help?

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


	12. The Obligatory Pactio Scene

When Wizards Meet

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 12: The Obligatory Pactio Scene

Disclaimer: The Dresden Files belongs to Jim Butcher. Sci Fi (now Scyfy) are geniuses to have managed to ruin it. Negima belongs to Ken Akamatsu. Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. Raistling Majere is the creation of Tracy Hickman and Margaret Weis. I'll throw in Rand Al'Thor by James Oliver Rigney Jr. He counts, right. They're not in this story, but I felt like mentioning them. Everyone loves wizards!

* * *

With the finding of some of Negi's students– Setsuna, Kaede, Akira and Natsume– there'd been something of a housing shortage. Harry had eventually asked his friends for help to house them, and Billy and Georgia had been willing to house the new girls. Negi, Evangeline and Chachamaru were staying with him for security reasons– though whose security was in question– which wasn't as bad as when Thomas had been living with him. Negi liked things organized, and Chachamaru, in addition to being a Terminator, was a maid. He hadn't done his own cooking in weeks. Bliss.

Therefore it was with slightly selfish motives that he panicked when the two fell into the portal do the Nevernever and it closed behind them (and Chamo too, but he's really hard to notice). Don't get him wrong, he was genuinely concerned for their welfare. He just really liked Chachamaru's cooking.

It was a loaded party that eventually made the crossing into the Nevernever. Two of Negi's students, Setsuna and Kaede– or to put it another, a magical girl super swordswoman with _**WINGS**_Knight of the Cross and a _**NINJA**_– had insisted on accompanying him. Luccio and a couple of off-duty Wardens had volunteered to look for him, apparently because they liked him personally, his vampire Master not withstanding. Thomas was there too, but that wasn't suspicious, because several limos worth of White Court Succubi had shown up as well, out of an apparent genuine concern for the boy's safety. Harry was _not_ looking forward to the Talk with the Council once this was all sorted out. He was still wondering about how they'd found out.

Evangeline had disavowed any participation in the 'rescue' attempt and had gone off drinking, though Setsuna reassured them this was just Evangeline-ese for "I'll pray for your success".

They crossed over as close as Harry thought he could make it to the spot Negi and Chachamaru had ended up and immediately there was a hopeful sign.

"My detective instincts are telling me we're on the right track," Harry said confidently.

"Hmm," Kaede said, smiling in that slitty-eyed way of hers as the people around them, the ones who'd never seen Negi fight anyway, gawked. "Why do you say that, Dresden-dono?"

"Well, I can't quite put my finger on it," Harry said. He liked the girl. She knew how to play along. "Call it a gut feeling, some subliminal clue I've seen but aren't quite consciously aware of, or maybe it's just my magical wizard senses tingling. But I'm fairly sure that Negi and Chachamaru had been through here, and not only _that_, but they went that way!" He pointed in a direction.

"How _do_ you do it, Dresden-dono?" Kaede asked, face completely straight. Setsuna couldn't keep a wry half-smile from curling her lip.

"It's a mystery," Harry said, and led the way. Eventually, people stopped staring at the dismembered, electric-burned demon in front of them to follow Harry as he followed the trail of dead demons.

* * *

Some time later, Setsuna dropped out of a clear blue sky, folding her wings casually behind her. Yuunagi in her left had and Fidelacchius at her waist made for a strange pair. "I've found them," she reported. "They're not far along this trail. They're being mobbed by demons. Negi-sensei was able to put up a wind barrier, but I think that's not going to last much longer. It looks like the Helm's Deep scene in that movie out there. They're going to get swarmed."

At Harry's behest, Setsuna quickly sketched out the terrain as best as she could, and a rudimentary plan was formed, which basically amounted to "Get to them and get the hell out of here!". It was a plan Harry was intimately familiar with, and had the advantage of simplicity, which meant the vampires and wizards would be more likely to play along with it.

They'd just gotten to a position where they could see Negi's barrier– a frickin' _tornado_ that went up into the sky– surrounded by the biggest bunch of uglies Harry was having the misfortune to see when the barrier visibly began to weaken. It seemed to sputter, getting weaker. At the base of the tornado, a golden light glowed.

Setsuna narrowed her eyes. "Is that what I think it is?" she said, although mostly to herself. Her tone was a mix of amazement, exasperation and a bit of embarrassment. "Well, they _did_ have Chamo with them, and he's always pulling stunts like this…"

"What is it?" Harry asked, looking at the light. Around his end of the neighborhood, lights that weren't an evocation meant a big, powerful working, but he knew enough about Negi's magic to suppose that might not be the case.

"I think… Negi-sensei's trying to form a Pactio," Setsuna said slowly. "With Chachamaru-san."

Kaede whistled. "Think it'll work?"

"How would I know?" Setsuna said. "I've only been on the receiving end. I'm not wizard."

"Huh?" Harry said succinctly.

"We'll explain later. Chamo can do a better job than us."

About then, the tornado collapsed, and Harry was treated to the sight of Chachamaru on her knees, head and body tiled back slightly, her hands at Negi's wrists as Negi kissed her fiercely. A magic circle of some sort glowed at their feet, which was probably the only reason that the demons crashed into it instead of eviscerating them on the spot. Negi ignored them, apparently very intent on what he was doing. Chachamaru was bending over backwards more, so that the two were practically horizontal.

Harry choked.

"_That's_ a Pactio," Setsuna said, blushing. She drew her swords, Fidelacchius glowing with a holy light that was already turning slightly pink. "Um, let's go rescue them now, shall we?" She charged into battle, Kaede following behind, the others soon following her lead.

The fight ended with Chachamaru testing out her new Artifact, to the devastation of everything around her. Harry managed to shuffle him off back into the real world. The White Court Vampires were giving him _very_ interested looks, which was setting the Warden's on edge…

* * *

"So it's a magic kiss," Ramirez said later at Mac's, where he, the rescuees and some of the rescuers were celebrating. The succubi had stayed until an annoyed Lara Raith had shown up to hustled them off, to many regretful looks towards Negi. This had significantly decreased the number of as several went home to take care of business after recent White Court Hottie exposure. "A magic kiss that gives superpowers."

Chamo snorted. "If you want to be lame about it."

Harry paused. He turned to Setsuna. "Didn't you say you were on the receiving end of one?"

Setsuna became very interested in her steak sandwich, chewing slowly. Negi blushed and did the same.

"There is no justice," Ramirez groused.

"It was an emergency," Negi felt compelled to add. "We were surrounded, and the evil people were about to summon a demon god, and Asuna-san had lost her underwear and you could tell because of her short skirt…"

"NOT HELPING, NEGI-SENSEI!" Setsuna said.

Ramirez stared at Negi in envy and respect. "Can I be your apprentice?"

* * *

**- To be continued...**

* * *

A/N: Chachamaru's Card says 'Pupa Somnians'. I checked, and it means something like 'Doll's Fantasy', 'Doll's Dream' or 'Doll's Nonsense'. Considering the picture showed Chachamaru with a gun, some kind of armor/wings and robotic cat-ears…

Up next, more White Court fun!

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


	13. Kissing Is Sex?

A/N: Murphy. Is. BADASS!

* * *

When Wizards Meet

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 13: Kissing Is Sex?

Disclaimer: The Dresden Files belongs to Jim Butcher. Sci Fi (now Scyfy) are geniuses to have managed to ruin it. Negima belongs to Ken Akamatsu. Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. Raistling Majere is the creation of Tracy Hickman and Margaret Weis. I'll throw in Rand Al'Thor by James Oliver Rigney Jr. He counts, right. They're not in this story, but I felt like mentioning them. Everyone loves wizards!

* * *

At about 5:37pm that day, Negi Springfield disappeared.

_Again._

"This is getting repetitive," Harry growled as he set up a tracking spell using Chachamaru's new Pactio Card while Setsuna got on the phone and called everyone. Again. "We just rescued him _yesterday!_"

"Do you think he's managed to hook up with another girl?" Evangeline drawled as she pawed through Harry's paperback collection. "You know how he always manages to charm a new girl whenever he's out of our sight."

Chachamaru and Setsuna exchanged panicked glances. "Work faster!" Setsuna told Harry.

* * *

The tacking spell took, fortunately, eventually leading them to…

"Crap," Harry said, looking up at the gates in front of him.

It was the Raith Mansion.

Harry had barely gotten out and exchanged unpleasantries with the guard on duty when there was a gust, and a wind-blown Lara Raith, her impeccable whites slightly spattered and leaf-strewn, her immaculate hair looking like some evil blow-dryer had blasted it, seemed to appear out of nowhere. She _leapt_ the gate, grabbing Harry's lapels with a slightly unhinged look in her eye.

"Dresden!" she cried. "_Get that brat out of my house!_"

Harry, not missing a beat, said, "So, he's here after all?"

Lara growled, a sound more primal than sensual, and Harry was reminded why the Whites qualified as a Vampire Court.

That was what the ninja was for.

Harry had once fought a ninja vampire. Admittedly, the Malvora might not _technically_ have been a ninja, but he'd ran like the wind, jumped really high and used throwing knives, so it was good enough.

Kaede showed him that guy had been an amateur. There was a blur from out of the woods, and suddenly Lara was dangling from the tall, buxom girl's arm from five feet away. Lara reacted instinctively, turning on her and beginning to grapple. The guard drew his sidearm, but another blur streaked towards him, and he was suddenly on the ground, unconscious, as _another_ Kaede stood over him, holding the gun absentmindedly.

"Clear," Setsuna said as she appeared on the opposite side of the gate holding some pliers, a chisel and a hammer. "Mines are down."

"How exactly do you know how to disarm mines, Setsuna-dono?" the Kaede with the gun said.

The girl shrugged, smiling slightly. "I'm roommates with Mana. _Something_ rubbed off."

It took a while to separate Lara from the one she was fighting, which was quite an interesting few minutes. Bob would be heartbroken to have missed it. He'd have to tell him in as much detail as possible…

Fortunately for him, Chachamaru had thoughtfully made a recording.

* * *

They reached the mansion in time to see Negi sitting on the floor, back flush against a sofa, one of Lara's female relatives leaning forward on her hands and knees to kiss him.

"NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" several people cried. There were various metallic sounds.

A split second later the vampires was screaming, having leapt to the opposite side of the room so fast she'd left a Looney Tune outline on the wall.

"Huh?" Harry said, blinking.

"Huh?" Lara said, mouth agape.

"Huh?" every other woman in the room said, excepting the one screaming.

Setsuna rubbed the bridge of her nose, thinking happy thoughts of Konoka in a bikini. Or not in one, as the case may be. "What is it with him and women who bend towards pedophilia?" she muttered.

"Maybe it's the suit?" Kaede said.

"Does he look like Neil Patrick Harris?" Setsuna said, then sighed. "Oh Neil, how could you! I'd have been straight for you! Er, not that I'm not already…"

Kaede patted her on the back. "It's okay. We've all been there…"

Chachamaru nodded. "The master was certainly upset."

Harry looked down at the floor. "Spin the bottle? Really_?_"

Lara suddenly snapped her head towards Negi, who was getting over his surprise and quite predictably becoming concerned. Frowning, she strode towards him, and hesitantly, poked his face with a finger. It sizzled, and she hissed, stepping back. "Dresden, did you know the boy's not a virgin?"

"**_WHAT?!?!?!_**" was the rooms reply.

"Huh?" Negi said.

Harry stared at him. No. surely not. Surely, in this day and age with that danged internet he couldn't use but Negi apparently could, he couldn't be that oblivious.

Kaede tilted her head. "He hasn't taught us Sex Ed yet, has he?"

"No, he hasn't," Setsuna said, eyebrow twitching. "Looks like someone beat Ayaka to it."

"The master will not be pleased," Chachamaru said.

* * *

Harry had needed to explain to Negi just what exactly Lara was implying. It was touch and go there for a minute, since he didn't feel right couching it in terms of sex, since the boy seemed genuinely clueless about the subject. He had to go in vague terms about energy and transfers and such, with the two human (well, technically one human– debatably– and one hanyou) with him going a little red as they listened between the lines, and the Whites growing increasingly amused as he got more vague and embarrassed. This was not helping his street cred, having to give a definitely-not-Sex-Ed lesson.

"Oh," Negi said, as he finally seemed to understand. "Well, if it's a result of an energy transfer, then the last person I might have conceivably exchanged energy with is Chachamaru-san. Maybe they just don't agree with her energy?"

Everyone turned to the android, whose face seemed to be going red.

"I appear to be over-heating," the robot-girl said. "Do you have a CO2 fire-extinguisher nearby?"

Out of the corner of her mouth, Setsuna said, "Negi-sensei? Really?"

Chachamaru got redder.

"It's okay," Kaede said. "We've all been there."

The two stared at her.

"What? I'm in this class too."

* * *

**- To be continued...**

* * *

A/N: and fun is had by all.

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


	14. It Was An Honest Mistake, Really!

When Wizards Meet

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 14: It Was An Honest Mistake, Really!

Disclaimer: The Dresden Files belongs to Jim Butcher. Sci Fi (now Scyfy) are geniuses to have managed to ruin it. Negima belongs to Ken Akamatsu. Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. Raistling Majere is the creation of Tracy Hickman and Margaret Weis. I'll throw in Rand Al'Thor by James Oliver Rigney Jr. He counts, right. They're not in this story, but I felt like mentioning them. Everyone loves wizards!

........................................

It was, of course, inevitable that someone would try to take a stab at Negi.

It's not like the supernatural world is very talkative to each other. After all, nearly everyone views nearly everyone else as either a definite enemy, a potential enemy, a potential backstabber or food. These are not viewpoints conducive to the free and open exchange of information and intellectual discourse.

To the Whites' Council and Court, Negi was a scary little bugger who was under observation and was to be handled with care. To the supernatural world at large, he was the newest way to take a crack at Harry Dresden. In retrospect, it was astonishing it took this long for someone to attack him directly.

........................................

Negi was walking back to the apartment from the library– Harry hadn't been able to pick him up that day since he was out of town on Warden business, and Chachamaru had recently gotten a job as a waitress to cover expenses while they lived with Harry– whistling a happy tune when he was a attacked by several Red Court Vampires.

They made no threats or declarations, no pithy speeches about how he should come with them if he wanted to live, nothing to indicate why they were there. They just swarmed him and attacked, coming from all directions except from underground, hissing and spitting, claws outstretched, fangs wide.

It wasn't pretty.

What followed was pure chaos, gore, and definitely not fit for children. blood flowed freely, and there were high-pitched cries of pain as violence and barbarism ensued.

The Reds never had a chance.

The first instance where they realized something was wrong was when Negi grabbed the lead one by its outstretched arms and swung it like a club at the one next to it. Being vampires, and it being in the heat of battle and such, they really didn't notice it right away. That's what gave Negi the time to punch out the next three that came after him, sending them flying to splat quite loudly and messily against the walls of the alley there were conveniently in, slam his staff repeatedly into the heads of a couple more and hit the last few stragglers with several wind arrows.

Afterwards, amongst the moaning but not quite dead remains of several vampires (Red variety), Negi frowned, and pulled a notebook from his pocket, looking it over. He frowned some more, then reached into his pocket, pulled out his cellphone and flicked it on. He dialed a number. "Hello, um, Sergeant Murphy? This is Negi Springfield, Harry said I should call you if I have any problems when he's not around… I've just been attacked by a group of vampires. Is there some kind of form I have to fill up? .... Uh, Red, I think. Those are the kind that look like bats, right? … Isn't that kind of… harsh? Can't I just let them off with a warning? … well, yeah, I did, but… Isn't that murder? … Wel, no I can't just leave them there… All right, all right, I'll take care of it. Bye."

He sighed as he ended the call, then glanced at the severely injured but not quite properly dead vampires. Then he reached a decision, and dialed another number into his cellphone. "Hello, miss Justine? Is one of Lara's sisters there? I need a favor…"

........................................

"You did what?" Harry said, gawking at Negi a few days later.

Negi beamed. "I asked some of the White Court to help me take care of it! They're really nice, you know. Anyway, they've been taking all the Red vampires and ghouls and hit men that have been trying to kill be while you were gone. I can't kill them, and I can't have the police handle it, but the ladies have been kind enough to take care of it for me."

Harry's eyebrow twitched as Negi smiled widely at him. Behind the boy, Evangeline was trying to contain her maniacal laughter.

"You realize the Whites have probably been eating them, right?" Harry said slowly.

"Eating them?" Negi said, blinking. "I thought the White Court ate energy?"

Evangeline finally burst out laughing as Harry sighed. "Negi, let me tell you what happens when any kind of vampire sees someone who's wounded…"

........................................

**- To be continued...**

........................................

A/N: Next up, Haruna and the magic hookers!

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


	15. Haruna and the Magic Hookers!

A/N: The following scene was inspired by **Ambrant Arandel's **Negima fic, _**A Day Indoors**_. Used shamelessly as a form of flattery.

...

When Wizards Meet

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 15: Haruna and the Magic Hookers!

Disclaimer: The Dresden Files belongs to Jim Butcher. Sci Fi (now Scyfy) are geniuses to have managed to ruin it. Negima belongs to Ken Akamatsu. Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. Raistling Majere is the creation of Tracy Hickman and Margaret Weis. I'll throw in Rand Al'Thor by James Oliver Rigney Jr. He counts, right. They're not in this story, but I felt like mentioning them. Everyone loves wizards!

...

Harry frowned. "This can't be right," he said, checking the tracking spell he'd cast on the wing-shaped pin he was using. He looked up at the building scowling at it. "Crap."

"Is something the matter, Harry?" Negi asked.

"This building belongs to Gentleman Johnny Marcone," Harry said. At Negi's blank look, he added, "He's a crime lord."

Negi perked up. "Oh, does that mean he has a hat and a pinstriped suit and a Tommy gun?"

Harry took a moment to count to five. It wasn't Negi's fault he wasn't really that familiar with the bounds of human evil. And that he watched too much TV. Man, he wished _he_ could watch TV, if only to have something else to make fun of. "He probably has people to carry Tommy guns for him," Harry said diplomatically.

"Negi-sensei, what Mister Dresden means is the man who owns this building is a criminal, and probably uses this building as a front for criminal activities," Setsuna said, smiling in tolerant exasperation. "Whoever the Ala Alba member in there is, they might be in danger."

It took her two heartbeats to realize this was exactly the wrong thing to say.

She barely managed to grab Negi in time as he made a frantic run towards the building. "Negi-sensei! Be reasonable! I'm sure there are other ways we can do this!" She looked at Harry pleadingly at these words.

He sighed. "Yeah, there is. You two ever talked to a criminal mastermind?"

The two thought about this for a moment. "Not sure. Do mad scientists bent on reorganizing human civilization as we know it be revealing the existence of mages in a manner that the whole world will not be able to deny no matter how much the try count?" Setsuna asked.

Harry glared at her. "I'm the wizard around here. I'm supposed to have the wiser ass!"

...

One of the things Harry absolutely _HATED_ about Marcone's operations was that more often than not, they were _not_ completely evil, immoral money machines intent on material gain through human suffering and evil.

"Sir, I'm afraid the children can't come in here," the receptionist said as soon as she got a good look at them. "We are not that sort of place."

See? Absolutely hateable.

Setsuna flushed red and would have started sputtering if she'd been talking. Negi just blinked in ignorant confusion. Harry was ready to deal with this problem, though the secretary's words had thrown him a little off track. Had he been less of an awesome dude, he'd likely have been as embarrassed as Setsuna. As it was, his red tinge was completely due to his righteous indignation of the evil perpetrated by Marcone's organization. _REALLY!_

Before he could put his daring and meticulously thought out plan into action– _really!_– Negi gasped and pointed. "Nodoka-chan?"

Setsuna, Harry and the receptionist turned to look. He was pointing at one of the establishments… _employees_– hem, hem!– a slim, compact woman with dark-purple hair and a rather fetching pair of glasses. She was wearing the establishment's standard uniform, which made it quite clear that _everything_ about her was slim and compact. This did not seem to a problem for the gentleman she was escorting to the back. Perhaps it had to do with how she was holding on to his arm, or that half-lidded look she gave him that said, quite plainly, "Yes, I want to do you, and HOW!"

"Ojou-sama?-!" Sestuna suddenly cried, pointing at another girl, a long-haired one that was coaching another man who was lifting weights. He was doing it slowly, surely so as not to hurt himself and not at all because her stance basically meant he was looking up into her breasts, which were only a few inches from his face.

Harry blinked, and got into the act by also pointing. "Hey Setsuna, isn't that you?"

Setsuna turned to look and squeaked, staring at a near-duplicate of her assisting someone else with his stretching exercises. Let's leave it at that. The reason it was a _near_-duplicate was soon obvious, once you stopped focusing on the shirts and legs… they looked older. They looked, as they say, barely legal.

Harry took note of this, scanning the room. Some of the girls he vaguely recognized from past visits here– _purely for work purposes, now shut up and get your head out of the gutter!–_ but others… he saw a girl who looked like Kaede who was straining her shirt even more than the other girls were. He saw a blonde woman who looked like Evangeline's older form, but with slightly shorter hair. He even saw what looked like a long-haired, girl version of Negi.

Setsuna began to growl. It was a very good growl. Having been on the receiving end of many growls in his life, Harry was something of an expert. This growl was definitely somewhere in the top five. "There is only one person evil enough to behind this…"

...

"SAOTOME HARUNA, BECAUSE OF YOU, I'VE SEEN HELL! PREPARE TO DIE!"

Negi looked quite surprised as the usually easy-going Setsuna charged at the girl standing off to one side of Johnny Marcone's desk with a big grin on her face. Marcone seemed quite surprised by the reaction, and Hendricks was already going for his gun, moving to put himself between the swordswoman and Setsuna.

Before anyone else could react and try to regain control of the situation, Haruna's grin grew wider, and her hands suddenly blurred. Harry had seen ninja ghouls and ninja vampires move slower. He practically expected there to be a sonic boom. He caught sight of a book floating in the air and what looked like a quill pen moving light lightning on a page, there was a burst of that sensation that accompanied Negi's kind of magic, and suddenly Setsuna had been tackled by several teenaged girls with long dark hair, all of whom were completely naked.

"Set-chan!" they all chorused. "Make love to us!"

"Fuck us! Fuck us hard!"

"Do us here, do us now!"

"Screw me, bitch! Put it in me!"

"Set-chan, I love you!"

"Lick me, Setsuna! Lick me!"

There was a geyser of blood from Setsuna's nose, and suddenly the swordswoman collapsed, unconscious.

Everyone stared.

"Well," Marcone said, taking a handkerchief and dabbing at his cheek where some blood had spattered. "You don't see that every day." He looked up. "The cleaning bill for that ceiling is coming out of your pay, Miss Saotome. Honestly, I thought you had to cut someone's throat for blood to reach that high."

"Sorry, Big Boss," Haruna said, her grin completely unrepentant as she closed her Artifact book in satisfaction. "Girls, please restrain Setsuna for now until she wakes up. If she makes a bother, one of you stick your ass in her face."

"Hai, Paru-sama!" the Konoka-golems all chorused.

"And please clothe your employees, Miss Saotome," Marcone continued. "We are not that sort of establishment. This isn't Cambodia."

Haruna sighed, and her hands blurred again, the Konoka-golems suddenly being clothed in an assortment of _extremely_ slutty lingerie and swimsuits that somehow was even _worse_ than them being naked, despite the fact that it covered the important bits. "Stupid American prudishness. When I'm in charge, things are going to be different."

""But until that day comes Miss Saotome, I expect your employees to be clothed, if barely," Marcone said easily. This made Harry blinked. Marcone did not take challenges to his power easily or lightly. If it looked like he was, that was because he was about to screw you over with an intercontinental ballistic missile with-giant-drill-attachment up the rectum, and was merely waiting for the most profitable time to do so. Yet his response to Haruna had been… fond. Fatherly, even.

Negi was standing there in mute shock and embarrassment, both hands over his eyes. " 'Do'… 'lick'…'make love'… I know what these words mean, but I don't understand…!"

"Don't put down your hands," Harry warned him. "And promise me you'll be a _good_ boy and not try and find out about those terms until your… sixty seems a good time."

"Indeed," Marcone agreed. "I take it, Mister Dresden, that you and your young friends are here about Miss Saotome?"

"We're here to take her back!" Negi said defiantly at where he thought Marcone was. Since his eyes were covered, he didn't know he was actually talking to the telephone on the desk.

Marcone leaned back, exchanging a look with Haruna, who shrugged and smiled fondly. "Well, that would be problematic. Miss Saotome is a highly valued employee, who will soon be up for a promotion."

Haruna's head _snapped_ at Marcone, her eyes wide an avaricious, her grin belonging on someone named 'Bruce'. Shark or Wayne, take your pick. "Boss?" she said.

"Promotion?" Harry repeated, having been lost at sea some time around the naked girls appearing out of thin air.

"She will soon be assisting Miss Demeter in the day-to-day running of this establishment," Marcone said, eliciting a squeal from Haruna. "So you can see how taking her away merely to live with one of your friends when she could continue to earn a living for herself and learn skills that would be extremely valuable for her in later life might be problematic for her."

"Aw, you're the best boss ever!" Haruna said. "I'm getting you a new mug!"

"Skills?" Harry said. "Like how to be like you?"

"Indeed," Marcone said, and Harry blinked at this straight forward reply. "The young lady has a promising and interesting future ahead of her. It would be a shame to see such potential not nurtured."

"Potential for what?" Harry just had o ask.

"World Domination," Negi and Haruna both said, the former sighing in a tired sort of way, the latter punctuating her statement with a thrust fist and a "WOOT!"

Harry turned to stare at Negi blankly. "Are you serious?"

"It's all she ever talks about in our career counseling sessions," Negi said. "She could actually pull it off."

Haruna preened. "Queen Haruna, no EMPRESS Haruna, Ruler of the World! Has a nice ring to it. About time someone gave it a shot. And what better place to learn all the managerial skills I'll need than from Big Boss here?"

Harry sighed. "The vampire was a clue, wasn't it? You're all actually here to take over the world."

"Ooh, that reminds me, I'll need to ask Eva-chan on tips on how to be evil," Haruna said. "Sorry Big Boss, but I'll need a bit more style where I'm heading."

"I leave such considerations to you, Miss Saotome," Marcone said.

Harry pinched the bridge of his nose. Why could this have been a nice normal day where someone was trying to kill him, and he had to unravel some convoluted web of clues to save the status quo of the world?

...

**- To be continued...**

...

A/N: Haruna learning from Marcone. Frightening. Be glad she's not with the Denarians. I'm terrified she might be able to out-evil Nicodemus. Not even Evangeline, in my Eva-fanboy opinion, can really do that. She's too moral, in her own way.

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


End file.
